and the end is near

As I write this I try to keep my eyes open so that my body won't suddenly fall asleep and miss the tube I'm supposed to catch in order to trek the one hour over to Heathrow Airport.
It is 4:07 am and I feel like I have been to the outer most corners of the work world. In the short months that I've been here I think I could have easily gained 20 gray hairs. I have tried not to complain about work thinking things would get better but it seems everyday bring about another unpleasant experience. It's not my nature to wine specially not about my own decisions but as I lay in bed trying to think of the positives of my move I find my jaws clenching and my body aching to get back home. This could be the holiday blues, or the wrapping up of 2008, in any case I am done and more than ready to be home. London and I have had a strange relationship since I moved.

The city itself I love as a city. I respect its history and love the fashion but for some reason it isn't for me. No se me parece que la latina dentro mio no aguanta el frio o lo gris que es la ciudad. Es triste en cierto modo porque se nota la diferencia que hace el sol en la vida de las personas. Se nota como todo el mundo camina con un paso rapido empujandote al tratar de llegar al tube, o empujandote mientras tratan de hacer las compras en cualquier tienda... he visto que es igual. Pero creo que mi suerte de siempre haber estado al rededor de personas bien amigables y de venir de una familia tan warm hearted que me cuesta acostumbrare a vivir en un pais donde una sonrisa es mas dificil de encontrar que una persona con un tan.- Ok that was a bit of a joke or a 4:13am tangent but I guess all I have to say is 2008 in London has been rough.

I found out recently that I won't be moving to Abu Dhabi until mid 2009- I will be here until AT LEAST May. And when my boss asked why I wanted to get out there so bad I wanted to scream out because that's where I'm supposed to be going, that was my original plan in any case I don't know if I'm upset about having to stay in london or because I am genuinely upset that things here don't even seem to go according to plans. E-mail sent are sent in a reactive manner at I think at this point on this Friday Morning I am spent. I am ready to be home with my family and do nothing for two weeks. I think everyone feels this around the holidays. Its a natural shut down of the body. It's a natural reaction to the nearing end. Speaking of. Happy Christmas to all and all the best for the new year. Maybe one day I'll make it out to Abu Dhabi. Maybe not. It's all TBD at this point. :) stay tuned to 2009

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Bracing Ourselves to go out into the very COLD night

Hyde Park's Winter wonderland in the distance a 15 minute walk from my flat.
Life size winter ornament

Nata got a kiss from a Reindeer
Jager Santa

December...

Is upon us with another gust of wind and another rainy day in my google weather forecast, rainy Thursday rainy Friday- I guess I better enjoy the rain while I get it since the desert isn't really known for its rainy forecasts. I enjoy the drops as they fall although here in London the drops are more of mists and drizzles that seem to fall at you from every which way. December has always been that nostalgic month that bring about the present feeling of wrapping up the year, the time when we take a final big breath and gather all the energy we have left to go through the final days of the year. At least for me, December is a time to go through with all those final plans, to see your life and your present moment and decide what it is you are looking for in the next year. Speaking of, December has brought upon carrolling in the tube on my morning commutes into work, it brought upon lights and Christmas trees around our desks, stalking full of what is apparently 80's candy, and in some way its brought upon that Christmas cheer which helps get us through the much colder days and even colder nights. December has also brought upon that feeling of family, those memories of Christmas time and the warmth of being indoors with bright lights angels candles and Christmas cookies. Speaking of- my return to the states is coming closer and closer and I feel an urge to hop on a plane yet again and make that trans Atlantic flight. I see myself in California arriving at a destination that is too familiar for comfort and becomes my safe haven. When I become a bit overwhelmed at work, or when I let my thoughts get the best of me I think of that long ass flight and the familiarity of being mid air suspended in search of a destination. Truth is I get that feeling no matter which direction I'm travelling the destination of arriving to those people who are the destination in themselves- of course I'm talking about mi familia. The family I've been so blessed to have, the family that truly brings me home no matter where our home may be that year. This year Santa Barbara next year who knows- but that's the beauty of being a Conneely the overcrowded house, the many visitors that always seem to pop by and the comfort of knowing that no matter what you will always have a hug to welcome you and a meal to fill you up. My flight departs on the 19th from Heathrow and after over a days trip I know I will be arriving to a family full of memories and a holiday that will fill me with the energy I will need to get through the rougher winter months here in London- but like November right before it, I know December will come and go so I will try to hold on to the days, try to enjoy this month in anticipation of the new year (my favorite holiday) a time to look back at the year and smile at the lessons learned and the friends we've made along the way, a time to look forward to another 12 months of who knows what time will bring and for now as I am listening to the amazing Cat Stevens I know that this December like those before I will continue to ' listen to the wind of my soul, where I'll end up well I think only God really knows.'