Don't you ever feel...

That sometimes there's a purpose for the emotions that you experience? For the things that happen or the people that come into your life? There's a sort of mystic in the air that lets you know there's something more than what you see in everyday. I feel this week has brought upon something more that I was missing when I arrived. It seems when we are too busy trying to adjust to a new city, a new team, new friends, new modes of transportation, new accents, new fashion, new everything, we miss out on the one thing that is always constant. Our thoughts and inner most desires. For me, my thoughts have always revolved around my ambitions, my desires have always revolved around my feelings and my emotions. For as long as I can remember I've wanted to act, I've longed for the stage, and longed to be part of that world of story telling. To me that world was second nature. When my sisters and I would act out skits and plays, to me it was part of who I was. Dancing and lip singing to Paula Abdul's 'Will you marry me boy' on top of our coffee table as I looked into the camera half of the time and over at my sisters in the background motioning for me to move my arms more, giving me general stage directions to be more Paula Abdulesque- Anyway performing wasn't taught to me it was within me and just came out as we created another new skit, another show after dinner to present to the numerous peace corps volunteers that stayed at our place with the price of having to witness another performance with outlandish outfits and over done hair and makeup.
These memories come back to me as I long for the world in which i was able to act in which I was able to tell stories through art. I've found that as we grow older it becomes harder and harder to hold on to those dreams we cherished so deeply as children. Those desires that were crucial to live out are hidden in the background of our lives and we must give way to other needs and other momentary ambitions.
Performing is an ambition I'll never be able to get rid of, or forget, it lives within me and visits me every now and again giving me a nudge to seek the opportunities available for me in the realm of art wherever i may be. This past week I've become ana ssociate member of New Voices, a club that is part of teh Old Vic a theater here in London whose Cretive Director for the past year or so has been Kevin Spacey. http://www.oldvictheatre.com/newvoicesclub.php
As an associate member I ama bit more connected into the world of art and the opportunities that could arise from knowing a little bit more that has to do with my passion.
You know how people say that songs lead our lives through different stages? And there is pretty much a song for every moment in our lives? For me the song that brought me back to theater performance, and brings back those oh so familiar feelings that will always live within me is La Vie en Rose- Edit Piaf. An amazing singer an amazing life, an immortal song. And the truth is I don't know why or how this song came into my life, but the voice of Piaf digs deep into my emotions and brings me to tears as I get chills down my back and believe once again that anything is possible.